G is for Gemenskap

In my Swedish-English dictionary ’gemenskap’ is defined as ‘spirit of community’, ‘solidarity’, ‘communion’, ‘intellectual fellowship’, ‘partnership, ‘connection’, ‘affinity’ and ‘community’.

There are different levels of gemenskap. We can connect with someone without having any deep friendship with or knowledge of them. I was reminded about this yesterday, when I met someone in the street who I haven’t seen for at least a year. The only connection then was that like me they also had a dog. Her dog has since died. Yesterday our paths crossed unexpectedly and, in the drizzle, we had a conversation about the mystery of death, the continued closeness of those (people and animals) who have died, the ‘supernatural’ things that can happen around death, and the thin veil between death and life. After sharing our own experiences of this, we parted. Although we may not see each other again for a while, and we have no reason to form any deeper kind of friendship, I later reflected that our meeting and our sharing encapsulated ‘solidarity’, ‘affinity’ and ‘communion’ – and in some way have may changed us both.

In our Quaker meetings we encounter different kinds of gemenskap, and often joke that we know each other inside out, rather than outside in. However, within our Quaker communities we often have the greatest of difficulty in fully living out gemenskap, and in realising what the long-term implications of this are. If we feel communion, fellowship, partnership, connection, affinity and community with someone or a group of people, why do we then leave them feeling unaided, unloved, or even threatened? What is it that prevents us from going the whole hog?

In my political encounters I am also finding gemenskap. In a small town like ours, party affinities often only become obvious in newspaper debates, in larger council gatherings or during elections. In small committees my experience is that the individuals that make up that committee community are willing to listen and to share, and in that way work towards the common good. 

F is for Förändring, Förankring, Framtiden

These three words – change, anchoring and the future – are significant for me in this particular phase of my life. I have had strange dreams recently – of people, possessions and opportunities being snatched away from me, and of being led to strange places and then abandoned. It is seldom that I remember my dreams, but of late these instances have been regular and frequent, and I have woken feeling disorientated and fundersam – puzzled (ah, yet another ‘f’!).

If I look at the words one by one and reflect on them, I can see a pattern and identify reasons. The dreams may also be a prompt to stop and reflect on what has happened over the past year. Until now I have neglected to do just that.

There have been a lot of förändringar – changes – in my life of late. After suffering numerous falls in her home, my elderly mother moved into a residential care home last April (in England) and is frail. My brother cut off all contact with us last summer. I turned 60 last August. Opportunities for service were dangled in front of my nose, and just as quickly and mysteriously snatched away. Shortly afterwards I was plunged into local politics – at least until the end of 2014, when my temporary mandate terminates. As Mum’s Attorney I have recently sold the family home and handed over the keys. A firm was hired to remove the contents.

There is a change too in my relationship with Mum. It has become more mutually loving.

Amidst all these changes I feel förankrad – anchored – in the town in which I live. It has family connections. My husband and his siblings grew up here. I also feel more anchored in myself. Having dual citizenship I feel at home as a British-Swede and as a Swedish-Brit. At 60 I have a new sense of self-confidence: I have had my long hair cut short and as if by magic the long grey hair streaked with brown has now become short brown hair streaked with grey! I am in balance with my inner self and at peace with the being I am happy to call God. I enjoy my work and find satisfaction in helping others to express themselves in writing. The once-a-month Meeting for Worship with the Småland Worship Group is a joy, and gives me a sense of continuity and of anchorage.

The future – framtiden – is as yet unknown. I have no idea where I may be led, and what I might find there. My hope, however, is that I will not be abandoned.

E is for Erfaren

In English ‘erfaren’ means practised, skilled, experienced, veteran. Up to now I have always connected the word with the first three meanings, but not the fourth. That changed the other day.

Since last October I have been a deputy representative (for the Social Democrats) on the municipality’s Education Committee. This is my first step into politics, but one that I find increasingly fascinating. This involvement has gradually led to new duties – as a deputy on the preschool-primary school sub-committee, and as deputy contact person on a parent-teacher council. Last week I attended the above mentioned sub-committee for the second time. The ‘governing’ group (in Nässjö this is an alliance of the Social Democrats, Centre Party, Liberals and the Left Party) usually meets for half an hour prior to the committee meeting proper, and on this particular occasion the chairman turned to me and said that he’d have to leave early, that the vice chairman might be late in arriving, and that if that was the case I would have chair the meeting.

As a totally unpractised, unskilled and inexperienced politician, and a deputy to boot, I asked him how that could possibly be the case – especially as there were others on the committee who were much more eligible than me. Ah, he replied, it has nothing to do with experience. It is to do with age. You are the oldest and are therefore next in line to take charge.

As it turned out the vice chairman arrived in the nick of time. I have clerked many Quaker meetings for business, locally, nationally and internationally, but I have never chaired a political committee meeting and when it comes to those procedures am totally inexperienced. However, when I returned home that evening I looked at the municipality’s website and sought out the live-recordings of full council meetings that are available there. I watched the latest one to see what the chairman did and listen to what he said, in the hope of gaining some insight as to how the proceedings were carried out in another, larger political gathering.

To my utter amazement, during the council meeting the chairman used language that I have heard used in a Quaker business meeting in Sweden, and have even used myself in that context: “is it the sense of the meeting that we should .....?” With this, I realised that I was a veteran – practised, skilled and experienced, albeit in a different context to the one in which I find myself now. This also brought the realisation that, yes, I could chair a political meeting if it came to the crunch, in my own way yet with help from others who are familiar with political procedures. I have already discovered that in this municipality decisions are mainly taken by consensus, which means that the step from Quaker clerk to committee chairman is not all that great.

Being 'erfaren' as in veteran – in terms of age and experience – could have its advantages.